I had a teacher in high school who felt very strongly about the word suck. Most adults—those who care—object to the vulgarity of a fellatio reference, but he specifically took offense at the suggestion that the act of giving oral sex should be considered something to use as an insult. Our eleventh-grade selves found this pretty amusing; since we held this teacher in high regard, I believe the word did pretty much vanish from our respective lexicons, for the term and sometime afterward.

A fascinating article in Slate this week points out the sheer utility of the word, and suggests that we embrace its use. I must admit, the word is awfully convenient, but I hadn’t been sure why until the Slate piece explained it.

The Half-Bakery came up on reddit recently, and I was strongly reminded of The Phantom Tollbooth’s Royal Banquet.

“The half bakery?” questioned Milo.

“Of course, the half bakery,” snapped the king. “Where do you think half-baked ideas come from? Now, please don’t interrupt. By royal command, the pastry chefs have worked all night to—”

“What’s a half-baked idea?” asked Milo again.

“Will you be quiet?” growled Azaz angrily; but, before he could begin again, three large serving carts were wheeled into the hall and everyone jumped up to help himself.

“They’re very tasty,” explained the Humbug, “but they don’t always agree with you. Here’s one that’s very good.” He handed it to Milo and, through the icing and nuts, Milo saw that it said, “THE EARTH IS FLAT.”

“People swallowed that one for years,” commented the Spelling Bee, “but it’s not very popular these days—d-a-y-s.” He picked up a long on that stated “THE MOON IS MADE OF GREEN CHEESE” and hungrily bit off the part that said “CHEESE.” “Now there’s a half-baked idea,” he said, smiling.

Milo looked at the great assortment of cakes, which were being eaten almost as quickly as anyone could read them. The count was munching contentedly on “IT NEVER RAINS BUT IT POURS” and the kind was busy slicing one that stated “NIGHT AIR IS BAD AIR.”

“I wouldn’t eat too many of those if I were you,” advised Tock. “They may look good, but you can get terribly sick of them.”

“Don’t worry,” Milo replied; “I’ll just wrap one up for later,” and he folded his napkin around “EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR THE BEST.”

A blank luggage slip, a 1973 dollar, a sketch of a woman, and two carefully clipped news items.

What do they have in common? All discovered between pages of the Book of Bread, purchased for $9 at Old Goat Books.

Read on…

I simply love Watership Down.

In the middle of the story, one of the rabbits tries to explain the miracle that allowed him to escape from an extraordinarly powerful foe:

“It’s going to be very hard to describe what happened next. Although all four of us were there, we don’t understand it ourselves. But what I’m going to say now is the cold truth. Lord Frith sent one of his great Messengers to save us from [our pursuers]. Each one of us had fallen over the edge of the bank in one place or another … And then–then an enormous thing–I can’t give you any idea of it–as big as a thousand hrududil–bigger–came rushing out of the night. It was full of fire and smoke and light and it roared and beat on the metal lines until the ground shook beneath it. It drove between us and [the enemy] like a thousand thunderstorms with lightning. I tell you, I was beyond being afraid. I couldn’t move. The flashing and the noise … they split the whole night apart.”

Read on…

This past week, the message chalked on pathways around campus has been, “Do You Agree With Byron?” Byron is a senior undergrad student who’s put up a testimony both online, and in the student newspaper. All of this is sponsored by the Campus Crusade For Christ.

I guess I was a little disappointed to find out today that this wasn’t a brilliant home-grown UWaterloo idea, but that similar ‘I Agree With…’ campaigns are going on at a number of North American schools, including Mac and Queens.

Many of the messages surrounding popular buildings have been defaced or supplemented in various creative ways by counter-minded individuals, and similarly, the online forum is beginning to be overrun by single-post users who drop links to Infidels and then never return.

Ultimately, whatever you believe, if you plan to take a stand on it in some way, make sure you’ve thought about a bit. Someone who claims his opposition to be blind followers and then cuts and pastes huge articles from other sites as ‘debate’ is useless except as part of a larger screaming body of Cyber Sisters.

I guess the lack of open, intellectual debate is the biggest frustration I have with this whole issue (and many others, really). Why can’t intellectual people just discuss things without resorting to insults and mud-slinging?

On a lighter note, for some good, Waterloo fun and hijinx, check out our very own PhoneBooking.com, now hosted separately from the school, since it was eating up too much bandwidth…

Mike

PS — And for the record, yes, I do agree with Byron.

I noticed that in the most recent Christian Week there are two opposing pieces about Harry Potter in the entertainment section. I was mildly intrigued, because I’d assumed the Harry Potter debate had mostly dried up with lots of people simply agreeing to disagree.

Neither piece was actually a column. One posed as a movie review for Prisoner of Azkaban, and the other as a review of a scholarly book on the topic.

The book, entitled Looking For God in Harry Potter apparently makes a case that the Potter books are so popular because they share so many themes with the story we’re all programmed to recieve — that of Christ. Interesting premise, but on the facing page, the film commentary warns that the wild popularity might be a sign of the devil at work. Of course, the writer massages the message lots so it’s not quite so witch-burning-ish, but it’s the thought that counts.

I’d be a little more concerned about Buffy than Harry Potter… but I guess the argument there would be that Buffy is very overt, while Potter poses as children’s literature.

He also pulls up the business about witchcraft being fundamentally wrong, but that’s a fine line to walk since Tolkien and Lewis used lots of magic in their stories. Of course, magic in there never had practical uses as it does in HP, only for making fireworks and cracking stone tables. But then is Star Wars out too? Maybe it’s just the name ‘witchcraft’ that’s objectionable… perhaps if Hermione was a wizardess, there wouldn’t be any discussion.

I dunno. It’s a prickly ground to end up on. Ultimately, people will read them no matter how many the zealots burn in churchyards. And it sends a lousy message to be so overtly xenophobic about something. I think the best policy is to simply proceed with caution… realising, if you believe it, that (a) it’s just a fantasy, (b) the supernatural does exist in our world, and (c) the only part of it you want to be talking with isn’t manipulated to do magic, and doesn’t want you trying.

All that said, it’s a good subway read.

Mike