*The Phantom Edit* a re-cutting of *The Phantom Menace* that seamlessly eliminates the worst twenty minutes of the film.

This is old news to hardcore Star Wars fans, but it only just came across my radar the other night, and I thought I’d share. I’ve had some limited experience in cutting together family videos; just enough to have a great deal of respect for the art of editing. Editing is difficult enough when you’re sorting through all the takes, mixing in soundtrack and voice overs from scratch… but to attempt to re-cut a movie from its final theatrical form is almost inconceivable. Read on…

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I don’t normally just post random funnies, but this is pretty much the most hilarious conversation I’ve read in a long time: [Man hired to kill woman instead warns her](http://reddit.com/info/sta4/comments). I’ve never been a DND person, but that tounge-in-cheek earnestness is right in line with my prejudices about tabletop RPG players.

For another laugh of a similar ilk, see also [xkcd #189](http://xkcd.com/c189.html). (for the borderline nerds in the audience, `str` is *strength* and `con` is *constitution*)

My movie tastes are not complex. I know for sure that I don’t like straight action movies or creepy horror flicks. [Chick flicks are fine](http://uwmike.com/articles/2006/01/04/chick-flick-shame/), so long as they’re honest and plausible; thrillers are cool, and I’ll even indulge in the odd schmaltzy drama.

I’m pretty good at avoiding the films I know I’ll dislike. Occasionally, I’ve even [liked ones I thought I wouldn't](http://uwmike.com/articles/2005/08/13/the-island/).

Plus, Robin Williams and Christopher Walken have been good in the past. With a great premise, and a trailer full of funny stand-up clips, shouldn’t *Man of the Year* have been a slam-dunk?

Well, it’s not. It’s a smoking, twisted wreck of a film. It’s the first movie I’ve seriously considered walking out of. **And if you don’t want spoilers, you can pass on this article.** Just know this: the plot elements left out of the trailer are ones so completely absurd that concealing them is in no way a service to their moments of revelation. If you thought the trailer was funny, then seriously, watch the trailer. On loop. Don’t spend your time and money at the multiplex, just watch the trailer on loop for twenty minutes. Read on…

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So I went and saw _Cars_. And as with *The Incredibles*, it was with some degree of apprehension that I entered the theatre. Would Pixar put my doubts to shame and be astounding, yet again? Or would the combination of Owen Wilson, an obviously rather pat storyline, and anthropomorphic automobiles finally be enough sillyness to sink Pixar’s latest creation?

Indeed, this time around the response _is_ much more mixed than ever before. There was very little doubt that *The Incredibles* was spectacular–enumerating its various assets serves little purpose. But what is it in *Cars* that gives pause? Read on…

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Originally, I had [dismissed *Firewall*](http://uwmike.com/articles/2006/02/11/engineering-sexy). My analysis was based on its [miserable trailer](http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/firewall/) and a mountain of other people’s [negative opinions](http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/firewall/).

And so, it was with a certain level of despair that I was dragged by [Jeff](http://jeffaho.com/) and [others](http://tron09.com/) out to Galaxy for that late-night first-weekend screening. As it turned out, Firewall was a good deal *less bad* than I’d anticipated—indeed, an entertaining way to spend 2 hours and $7.50.

What was the difference between the trailer and the picture? Read on…

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The [*Firewall* trailer](http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/firewall/) opens with chilling voiceovers from Harrison Ford. “*Someone’s been trying to hack in and compromise my identity… You think somebody got my information off the internal network?*”

Do members of the lay public grok *Firewall*’s vision of computer security? I buy into the Vegas of [*Ocean's Eleven*](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0240772/) and the medicine of [*Grey's Anatomy*](http://abc.go.com/primetime/greysanatomy/), but it’s because I’m hopelessly unfamiliar with gambling and biology.

So does non-geekhood allow one to suspend their disbelief enough to enjoy this flick? To believe that the process of [identity theft](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Identity_theft) is simply “hacking in” to some single master database maintained by who-knows-who? That a victim would be aware of *attempts* to perform this feat when it hasn’t yet seen success? Read on…

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Looking at my DVD library, I’ve pretty much come to terms with my tastes: drama, intrigue, and witty relationship comedy. Action just doesn’t do it for me. And horror *definitely* doesn’t do it for me.

Case: [Minority Report](http://imdb.com/title/tt0181689/). For an “action” movie, we’ve only three major action sequences, and all of them border on the ridiculous. A runaway jetpack that grills hamburgers? A factory that builds a car with Tom Cruise alive and kicking inside it? A “flush the tank” lever that no one knew about until the moment a hero needed a quick getaway? Read on…

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This movie is amazing.

With the precision of surgeons, [Steve Kloves](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0460141/) (writer) and [Mike Newell](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001565/) (director) have taken those scenes of utmost importance, stripped away all else, and constructed an incredible telling of *Goblet of Fire*.

This is not a story about a tournament or a magical school. It’s a story about relationships; about love and the unfathomable value of friendship. Read on…

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That’s what he called her: “Honey Bunny.”

It kind of surprised me, at first. After all, I’d never before heard “Honey Bunny” outside the context of my own family. The Honey Bunny had been a mangy brown stuffed hare that lived in our house for many many years. Because of the Honey Bunny, I think just about all of my five siblings were called, at one time or another in their childhood, variations on “Honey Bunny”, “Honey Bun”, and maybe even “Honey Buns.”

Rather like my poor sister Caroline being “Carrie Bari Ruchi” for years. It was after the hero of Tikki Tikki Tembo, a book that was one of many to become a staple in our family’s read-aloud tradition. Read on…

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Something about [The Island](http://imdb.com/title/tt0399201/) really clicked with me.

Was it the outlandish stunts and over-the-top action, combined with a message about the price of human life? Was it the romance? The fact that it doesn’t rely on shock obscenities or lewdness to fill up screentime? (ChristianAnswers gives it the coveted Moral Rating of “[Better Than Average](http://christiananswers.net/spotlight/movies/2005/theisland2005.html)”) Read on…

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